Phil Eggtree:
The teacher may not be smart, but he knows when I open that door.
Riddle School/transcript
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This is a transcript of the 2006 video game Riddle School.
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This article is maintained by the Riddle School group. For more information, or for contacting about issues, see DanTDM Wiki:Riddle School Group |
Transcript
JonBro Presents
Phil Eggtree:
*grooooan...*
I've been sitting here for two hours straight listening to addition facts.
All because I teased somebody, I'm in a special class.
I don't even have a smart teacher.
Right now I'm as free as a bird in a bird cage.
Alright, that's it. I'm getting out of this school.
Mister Kahm:
What's 131+42 again? I forget.
Phil Eggtree:
*groooooooan*.
[Phil Eggtree smashes his head into his desk]
Riddle S-c-h-o-o-l
Phil Eggtree:
No outlet here!
Phil Eggtree:
During school, even the windows look dreary.
Phil Eggtree:
That window's no different from its twin.
Phil Eggtree:
You can tell this school's low-budget just by looking at that.
Phil Eggtree:
That's the teacher, Mister Kahm.
He asks me lots of question because he doesn't know any of the answers.
Phil Eggtree:
That's it!
Hey, teacher! Could I sharpen my pencil?
Mister Kahm:
Only one person at a time!
Hallway 1
Phil Eggtree:
Now that was sharp! (I can't believe I said that.)
Phil Eggtree:
The school doors are shut during school hours.
I bet the principal has the keys.
I was there yesterday, and then I got sent to that class...
...only last time, I was with a teacher.
It'll be harder this time. I don't even have a hall pass.
There's a hall guard right before you reach the hall's end.
Well, it's all down the hall and past the teachers' lounge.
If I can make it there, I'm as good as free!
[an image of Phil Eggtree outside the school is shown, then, credits roll] Now Go Read A Good Book.
Phil Eggtree:
NO WAY.
Phil Eggtree:
"5 for prez."
5 is a popular guy in this school.
It's because of his 'VOTE 5' shirt.
Phil Eggtree:
To whom the doesn't toll...
...it rings when school ends.
...which it doesn't. Ever.
Need I say more?
Phil Eggtree:
It's the EXIT sign. It represents sweet freedom!
Hallway 2
[the water fountain turns on]
[the water fountain turns off]
[the locker opens, revealing a "Hall Pass+", which can be obtained]
Phil Eggtree:
It's a clock.
It's also a reminder that I waste all my time at school.
That explains why I never pay attention to clocks anymore.
Phil Eggtree:
That's Phred, my best friend and the most bored class member.
Phil Eggtree:
That's Zack, who is always very cold. He has no problem freezing the water fountain.
Phil Eggtree:
That's Smiley. She's the only one in this school who likes learning.
Smiley's also the one I made fun of to be in that special class.
Phil Eggtree:
That's my teacher, Miss Cophey, who drinks more coffee than anyone else I know.
She finishes teaching lessons two hours early in a hard-to-understand jittery voice.
Phil Eggtree:
That's a drawing by somebody named JonBro.
Phil Eggtree:
Looking out there reminds me I'm trapped here.
Phil Eggtree:
Wow, feather duster in a dustbin. Ironic.
[Feather duster is obtained]
Hallway 3
Phil Eggtree:
You don't want to know what happened there.
808:
WHAT are you doing?
GET OUT OF MY CLOSET.
808:
You found my feather duster! Keep the change.
[a dollar is obtained]
808:I've been looking all over school for this.
The playground birds need dusting.
Well, I gave you a dollar. Don't waste it on socks.
Phil Eggtree:
Uh, Bucket, you spilled something.
Phil Eggtree:
That's a mop. It works like a towel.
Phil Eggtree:
I ate one of those for lunch yesterday.
Phil Eggtree:
That's the janitor. He's 5's dad, 808.
Men's bathroom
Phil Eggtree:
As crazy as it sounds, those are sinks. Just look at the sleek design!
I would have thought twice about escaping school if it all was that cool-looking.
Phil Eggtree:
A big, fat battery clogged the left stall's pipes and choked up all that water.
Phil Eggtree:
That's the only stall guys ever use, mainly for graffiti.
Phil Eggtree:
That's the untouched stall which is in perfect condition and currently on display.
Hallway 5
Richy:
Hey, it's me, Richy, the hall guard. Got a hall pass?
'cause if you don't, you can't pass.
Phil Eggtree:
Yes, I do, so please get out of my way.
Phil Eggtree:
Listen, if I went in there, you'd hear screaming and shrieks, not only from anyone in there, but from me.
Hallway 6
Phil Eggtree:
That's a poster I made at home because of the bizarre number of lockers in this school.
"This school has 7 students and more than 50 lockers! NO SANITY!"
No wonder this school's so low-budget. It was expected to be popular.
Hallway 7
Chubb Munch:
Oooooh...gimme a cookie.
Phil Eggtree:
Take the dollar, fatty.
[Chubb jumps onto the floor to grab the money]
Phil Eggtree:
That's Chubb. There's not a person I know who's as fat and hungry as he is.
Yesterday I heard something about him swallowing his refrigerator.
Phil Eggtree:
The principal's office is past the Teacher's Lounge, but I can't get in. Chubb's in the way.
Phil Eggtree:
I think I'm safe. The last fire we ever had was when Mrs. Cophey's coffee spontaneously combusted.
Teacher:
What are you DOING here?!
Teacher:
And why is THAT?
[goes back to original dialouge box]
Teacher:
Oh, jokes are always fun! Go right on in.
[Phil Eggtree enters the principal, Mr. Cwesschyn's, office and manages to steal the door keys]'
Teacher:
How nice off you to drop by.
Bye, then!
Teacher:
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR TEACHER ON THE PHONE, DO YOU?
GET OUT!
[Phil Eggtree returns back to hallway 7]
Hallway 8
Phil Eggtree:
Getting out of school through that door's out of the question.
Cafeteria
<tabber>
|-|Greg=Phil Eggtree:
That's Greg, the least hungry and most restful student in the school.
|-|Cafeteria blueprints=Phil Eggtree:
That's a diagram of the cafeteria, reminding us all what it looked like clean.
|-|Cookie vending-machine=Phil Eggtree:
The cookie-vending machine is unfortunately broken.
|-|Blue liquid=Phil Eggtree:
Someone managed to spill their blueberry Wet-Ade up there.
|-|Green gunk=Phil Eggtree:
That's green, unrecognizable gunk.
|-|Mustard face=Phil Eggtree:
That's the school-famous Smiley Smudge.
That's how I made fun of Smiley--with mustard.